There has to be a time to draw the line.

Yep .. draw the line. Say you aren’t going to try anymore, because its one sided anyway? Accept that it will never be how you want it?

Hubby has 3 brothers. They are all lovely blokes, their wives and families are great, and we have never been in a situation where we have had a confrontation or disagreement with them. Us wives all get along fine, and the kids all get along well. Hubby’s mother annoys us a bit, but she annoys us all fairly equally, so there is never a feeling of favouritism.

Sounds like a great family doesn’t it. So why, in this great family, who apparently love each other, or at least like each other ….. does it seem that all members are incapable of maintaining a reasonable relationship.

BIL #1 …. this one has been shunning the family for years, won’t visit for holidays, never calls, gave me the wrong address when I wanted to send xmas presents, doesn’t bother letting us know when there are serious health issues in the family, pulled out of the family xmas at the last moment (no apology) and generally is non-existent.
BIL#2 …. this one teeters from ignoring us all, to being moderately good at staying in contact. At the moment we hear from him regularly. His new partner is lovely, and he was the only one to not pull out at xmas time, even though it was a huge trip for them.
Hubby ….. this one has his moments, and I have to remind him constantly about contacting family, but at least he’s interested in their lives.
BIL#3 …… this one I am most frustrated with. Pulled out at xmas for spurious reasons, and then sent a container of crumbs as a present, won’t be reliable with his promises, doesn’t answer his phone or return calls when messages are left, had a baby earlier this year but obviously feels that his brothers don’t need to know anything about her, no photos, no calls, no nothing.

Now, before you all say that I should back off … remember this is a normal, apparently loving family ….. there have been no fights, no conflicts or hurt feelings, no rift creating arguments, no disagreements over treatment of wives or children, no negative financial conflicts. This family should be happy.

They may be happy ….. but they obviously don’t care about each other. My poor, argumentative, dysfunctional family are a bundle of kooks ….. but we care about each other. I have had enough. This year, despite my commitment that I would never favour my own family over hubby’s …… I will be getting gifts for his parents, and probably the BIL (and partner) who are actually talking to us. The rest can whistle for crumbs for all I care.