I’m not ….. I know that.
Now before I get howled down, about how I need to accept my inner beauty, be a beautiful light, and many other such trite’isms …. please be aware, acknowledging my lack of beauty doesn’t automatically mean I hate myself. I appreciate that my features are arranged into a generally acceptable face, not inclined to instil fear in small children, but also not likely to inspire sonnets either. My face is round, prone to being ruddy, and not particularly photogenic. I certainly have never mastered my “camera smile”, which means I don’t particularly like smiling in photos.
Mostly, this lack hasn’t bothered me much. I don’t come from pretty stock. My mother’s family tend towards the mannish in looks, well leathered skin, and tend to age not very well. My father’s family tend towards the pointy chin, wicked witch look, especially as they age. I would say, that in the scheme of things, my siblings and I have done the best we could, genetically, with the chromosomes we were given.
I don’t hold much truck with models, and actors. Like fashion designers think of plus sized women …. I tend to feel those in the public eye, are verging on not real people. So I don’t compare myself ….. or should I say I try not to.
But, I am an active part of the sewing community. And so I receive newsletters from various pattern companies. Todays was from StyleArc, who make wonderful fashion forward designs. They value their customer base, and regularly send out their newsletters with photos of outfits customers have made from their designs.
So todays photo was a beautiful woman, in a stunning lace dress. She’s not a model, or actress. She’s not super thin, or plus sized. She is a normal person, in a lovely dress. But also, well at least in my eyes, she was beautiful. A stunning prettiness, along with a glow that spelled health and happiness.
I work hard to be comfortable in my own skin, but I must admit ….. just a tiny bit of jealousy. Not terribly proud of it.